New Jokes and a whole lot of old ones

[squiggles]

How do you get the cork back into a champagne bottle?

Ask a Blue Bull supporter!

Hahahaha. I like that, jab! Maybe you should just leave it out and give it to Coops

[Coops]

Hahahaha. I like that, jab! Maybe you should just leave it out and give it to Coops

I have already finished the bottle!! Bearing in mind that i was in the car with Simon listening to the game on the radio... Simon was very vocal in the first half, very vocal indeed, but oddly though, the second half brought on deafening silence on his part... it was good fun listening to him having to eat his words... Hey Simon? Also, remembering all the comments shot in my direction in the day leading up to the match...

[squiggles]

it was good fun listening to him having to eat his words... Hey Simon? Also, remembering all the comments shot in my direction in the day leading up to the match...

Coops, I wonder what HE would say about YOU if the BB's HAD won!?!???

[Daryn Varney]

HE probably would not have commented, the blue bulls were pretty much favourites to win and most people would have put their house on the line. It's the fact that they lost and not really that the cheetahs won that is used to poke fun at the bulls supporters. The bulls snatched defeat from the jaws of victory so to speak

[Coops]

The bulls snatched defeat from the jaws of victory so to speak

I have to disagree... the Cheetahs beat the Bulls at their own game...

[jab2]

New Wonderbra released.

The Loftus bra. Great support and no cup.

[SimonDP]

I have already finished the bottle!! Bearing in mind that i was in the car with Simon listening to the game on the radio... Simon was very vocal in the first half, very vocal indeed, but oddly though, the second half brought on deafening silence on his part... it was good fun listening to him having to eat his words... Hey Simon? Also, remembering all the comments shot in my direction in the day leading up to the match...

I do, and feel for my team, and I even congratulated you, but we will back. Next year, or the year after, but we will!!! Then again, we've had the CC something like 25 times, the Cheetahs twice in 102 years.

Squiggles, I save my BB winning comments fir next year (hopefully)

[Coops]

I do, and feel for my team, and I even congratulated you, but we will back. Next year, or the year after, but we will!!! Then again, we've had the CC something like 25 times, the Cheetahs twice in 102 years.

You absolutely did congratulate me, and you were more gracious in defeat than I expected... I am not sure I could have been...

[jab2]

Squiggles, I save my BB winning comments fir next year (hopefully)

Why not give another team a change. Have not seen them, but I beleave we also have a team from Southern Cape in the CC. Any wagers for the SWD Eagles as CC champs

[elsahoffmann]

MORAL QUESTION

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

===============================================

THE SITUATION

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

===============================================

THE TEST

Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's George W. Bush!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options, you can save the life of George W.Bush, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful politicians.

===============================================

THE QUESTION

Here's the question, and please give an honest answer:

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

[markthomas]

I'd have to say I wouldn't shoot with film. I think the best would be to open a cold one and enjoy the moment - all to yourself. It's one of those moments that shouldn't be shared.

[Mariusbez]

15 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

[Daryn Varney]

A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library of President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe. Both of his books have been lost.

Presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had not finished coloring the second one ...

[PhotoMad]

Got this yesterday at 16.00. Just at the right time to see me through the day!!!!

Advice for nausea.

Stick 1 finger down throat.
Stick another finger up bum.
If no vomiting occurs….. Swap fingers.

Sorry... I just had to share.....

[chalkie]

The falling woman. See it, it is unbelievable:

http://www.izpitera.ru/lj/tetka.swf




Note: When she gets stuck, left click and drag her free... you could watch for hours....
Someone did an amazing job with this. I know two things about him:

1. This is a person with too much time on his hands.

2. This geek knows how to model physics.

[squiggles]

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

[elsahoffmann]

It was the middle of a very dark and stormy night, a guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking. As the night rolled on, cars were scarce, and no lights lined the street. The storm was so strong he could barely see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly in the distance he saw the head lights of a car coming towards him and without any reason it slowed to a stand still beside him. Without hesitation, the guy hurriedly gets into the car and closes the door only to realize there is no one sitting behind the wheel. All of a sudden the car begins to move, the guy looks at the road ahead and notices
a sharp curve coming his way. Scared, he starts to pray,begging for his life. Still in shock, but just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and turns the wheel. Paralysed with terror,the guy watches how the hand appears every time they approach a curve. Gathering all the strength he has, the guy grabs the door latch,rolls out onto the pavement and runs as fast as he can to the nearest town. Dripping wet and in shock the guy runs into a crowded local bar,asks for two shots of whisky and begins to tell everybody about the horrible experience he just went through.
Everyone is glued in silence and amazement as they notice the guy shaking, crying but clearly not drunk. About half an hour later two guys walk into the same bar and in amazement one says to the other. Look Mick, there's that bollox that got in the car when we were pushing it!"

[Willem Semmelink]

Sourced from:
http://www.gdargaud.net/Photo/Matos.html

[Lourens-dL]

To all that remembers the 'Spook van Tietiesbaai' photo of Bluepixel I need to finally proof the amazing ability of capturing your images in RAW. I got the original from Bluepixel and using some advanced techniques and algorithms I was able to retrieve most of the detail from the seemingly burnt out areas of the original.

[oreomitch]

Rotfl!